Book Review

Title: A Butler’s Guide To Table Manners by The National Trust

Author: Nicholas Clayton

Publisher: Anova Books

# of Pages: 134

ISBN: 978-1-905400-48-5

Released: 2007

$16.95 

5 Stars 

Reviewed By: Kindah Mardam Bey 

Peel back the front pages to British Butler and Certified Good Manners Specialist Nicholas Clayton’s book commissioned by The National Trust and you will find the following comment in the introduction ‘How to behave’ training ought to be part of The National Curriculum – after all, good manners cost nothing but are worth millions!’  

With comments like that, I’m convinced Clayton knew my Aunts. Two in particular seemed incensed to teach me the rights and wrongs of decorum. One Aunt still mandates such manners on her own daughters now and it is a brave friend of my teenage cousins willing to come for dinner at my Aunts house and be subjected to the scrutiny of meticulous good manners. After all, it is what separates the men from the boys in this world today (er…um…the women from the girls as well?); old fashioned good manners will catapult a career in a heartbeat and when manners are neglected can also be a clear indication of people’s wrongful intentions. As Clayton, the author of The Butler’s Guide To Table Manners would agree, that good manners are about being considerate towards others around you instead of vacuously sucking the energy of a space and directing it only at oneself with the badge plastered on a conspicuous lapel reading ‘Look at Me!’

The Butler’s Guide To Table Manners is a fabulously entertaining read as Clayton’s stiff upper lippy dogma is transformed into logical and valuable advice about conducting oneself at a meal as well as in general group situations. Clayton speaks of everything from cutlery to beverages to dress code to pleasant table conversation. He infuses his stories and instruction with humour and pleasant banter that makes the book both function and form. Gems like ‘a little planning ahead never goes amiss’ and ‘In Britain there are very specific rules about using cutlery. In the US and Europe many people have a rather different way of wielding their eating implements’ are meant to be some gentle prodding towards being the best in a group situation you can be.  

Clayton gives descriptions and advice for multiple situations that are easily referenced, such as how to eat unusual foods like artichokes, asparagus, escargot and the ever complex de-boning of a fish. The Butler’s Guide also provides diagrams to show how one would hold a knife and fork, what a four course place setting would look like, the different shapes of glasses that hold differing alcohol and even dedicates a whole page of diagrams on how to tie a bow tie properly. 

Throughout A Butler’s Guide To Table Manners, Clayton gives a continuing list of what not to do at the table, two of my particular favourite pearls of wisdom were ‘don’t photograph the buffet’ and don’t say ‘Cor, what a nice spread!’ 

I am inclined to agree with Clayton that manners are a skill equivalent to being as important a part of the schools curriculum as Math, or English, and yet we do not have a course for that in regular school systems. Anyone needing proof that bad manners are epidemic is to go and stand by a door with a stack of books in hand…see how many ‘good citizens’ open that door for you and you’ll be under whelmed by the response. Clayton’s book if implemented well into society (such as a reference for schools, parents, teachers and the waywardly bad mannered adults groping around the world today) could be a great source of information and an effective facilitator of the ‘how to’ variety of getting the job done. If you are merely an innocent bystander with impeccable manners already, you may also enjoy giving this book to the worst offenders at your festive family gathering at this years’ Christmas Dinner. Mind you, that might be rude. Thank you for listening.